Unexpected Jokes 2019 #5

Yo.

One day, a friend of mine visited my house. Unexpectedly, he brought his pet duck with him because he was on the way to the vet. I didn't know what to do with it but luckily my brother had just arrived at my house and he was inside.
My friend was like, "Put it in the sofa with a towel or something while we talk. This guy is cool like that."
And so as my brother went out to see who was coming, I said, "Yo, Chef, this is my friend. I want to talk to him. You know our graduation is coming up. So, why don't you take his duck inside and, you know, make it comfy."
.
In another story, I just lost a good friend that had a pet duck.
.
Yoho~

When life gives you lemon, but it's actually lemon-infused water and it tastes like water used to wash lemon

Yo.

Mau tahu sesuatu yang lucu?
=> Gua ngebawa laptop kantor ke apartemen untuk lanjutin kerja di akhir minggu.

Mau tahu sesuatu yang lebih lucu?
=> Gua lupa copy dokumen yang gua kerjain dari server intranet kantor ke dalem laptop. Gak bisa dilanjutin deh kerjaannya :)

Mau tahu sesuatu yang lebih lucu lagi?
=> Gua dalam hati bilang, "Seenggaknya bisa lanjutin kerjaan pake program yang ada di dalem laptopnya. Catet datanya di dokumen lain, gabungin deh besok pas ke kantor," tapi ternyata programnya pake lisensi dari server intranet kantor, jadinya gua juga nggak bisa buka programnya.

Terus jadinya akhir minggu ini gua cuma nyuci, cari hiburan seharian, dan tiduran. Dan main.
Akhirnya akhir minggu ini jadi biasa aja.
TAPI ADA LAPTOP KANTOR DI APARTEMEN GUA.
JADI HIASAN DOANG.

Yoho~

I have work to do, but I also did this

Loitering
Music : non-existent
Lyrics : portoportule


I am a big boy, I'm walking on a straight line
Not a decoy of an evil plan, not the mastermind
I'm just really bored, I hope for something to feed my soul
Maybe skateboard, that's dope. But I'm a kid, I fall

(Brain)
Can you just give me something exciting to do?
(Hey)
I believe you're a friend but what am I to you?
(Man)
Life's always interesting, nothing worth frowning on to
(Say)
But shit happens and I don't know what to do
I'll stay calm for the moment, I'll just do nothing, so...

[Hook:]
I'm flapping about like it's the ground, I'm a bonito
I'm having bad thoughts of what's around, not talking shit though
Kids are playing but I'm not bound to think 'buon apetito'
I'm not a pedo (sike)
Just doing rounds like airliners in Heathrow (yikes)

I'm a big boy, like I'm a childish man trying to spawn light
I will fight ploys from the wildest men striving to wrong rights
My brain's just sore from working 9 to 5 everyday
Open doors, break floors, survive and thrive for today

(Damn)
So many years I have lived and I barely pull through
(Hi)
So many girls passing by but I'm just hooked on you
(Man)
I never tell her, for real. Crust on my face like a fool.
(Say)
Silent admirer. So silly. Dust just piling on my stagnant heart. Boo-hoo!
So...

[Hook:]

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Critics, constructive comments, or good 'ol hateful ramblings are to be addressed accordingly.